Joy: Creation

We are just about half way through our time here in Fort Collins, and it’s been a blessing on so many levels. I feel like I’m learning so much about myself, and that God has had me in the most beautiful dance of convicting me of sin and ugliness in myself, then showering me with grace and love, and surrounding me with beautiful people who love the Lord and love me- some who really have no reason to. There is a lot I could say, and my sincere intention is to share more here over the next couple days and weeks now that our classes are over and time is a bit more available.

For today, I wanted to share some photos of some of the beautiful sights we’ve seen lately. I was putting pictures on my computer this afternoon and had the thought, “Okay, we have spent time (not to mention live) in some of, what has to be, the world’s most beautiful places in the last month.” I realize that some people never get to hike and live and walk and behold such beautiful and glorious things. So, I feel thankful and privileged.

AND, starting today I started a “My joys” book- a journal full of things I’m thankful to the Lord for. Have heard that living in gratitude is a real heart, soul, and mind changer. I’m down for that. The images here are certainly included in my joys! En-JOY!

“When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, 
the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 
 what is mankind that you are mindful of them?” Psalm 8

New Staff Development

Every month of this year we spent one day in Berkeley with other Bay Area Campus Crusade staff learning, being trained, and hanging out for the day. The other 29-30 days of the month we are trying to live out the things we learn there, as well as to spend a bit of time reading the pre-selected articles and material. These New Staff Development (NSD) days were a real bright spot in my year. Daniel Curran is the staff person responsible for our training and our fearless leader every month. I have much respect for Daniel, and have learned a great deal from him this year. As I’ve been reflecting a bit on the year, I was reflecting on some of the things I learned from these days.

 

I can confidently say that every time I walked away from an NSD day, I have one application: Pray more.

It is so simple, and yet so hard. It was so striking to me that more than any strategy, tool, book, or skill, PRAYER is the heart of “good” ministry.

Here are a few of the other things that I stood out to me over our year of NSD:

- Pray. Really can’t emphasize enough the impression this made on me. I have been realizing that my job as a missionary is to give people the opportunity to know Jesus and have their lives changed by him, but I can’t actually do the changing. I can share the Word with them, invite students to Bible study, take them to serve the poor, and so on. But GOD has to do something in between my words/the event and their hearts to actually change anyone. Sometimes when I’m talking to a student, and I’m challenging them or sharing Scripture etc, I’ll actually say, “I’m going to say something, but in order for it to actually matter the Holy Spirit has to do something in the space between my lips and your ears.” That’s the truth. So, any event, conversation, Bible study, or relationship MUST be covered in prayer. I have not been great at this.

- “90% of ministry is just showing up.” I know what Daniel means when I says this. If coupled with, again, prayer; if we are led by the Spirit and available to people, God will work, despite or in spite of our plans, preparation, skill, or knowledge.

- Another Daniel-ism that has stuck with me is “Ministry by Sitting Around”. From our very first time together, Daniel shared with us his “strategy” of just being on campus, being available, sitting around- without a plan or agenda- and just seeing what God does. For example, at San Francisco State it’s really common to be sitting at a table in the student center and have someone ask if they can share your table with you. Now, if you weren’t sitting there, alone, without an agenda, you would never have come across this person. But, there they are- sitting across from you, eating lunch, and a conversation is the most natural response to said human sitting across from you. This is true with people who are doing surveys, passing out fliers, or protesting things on campus. There is so much activity going on, and if you are just “sitting around” campus, you are BOUND to talk with people. I haven’t always been great at this. Many times I fill up my schedule and make myself busy with appointments and meetings with students I already know because it’s a bit safer and more predictable. 

- Say hi to…everyone (okay, within reason). Ask about their lives. Ask if he can pray for them. Ask how else you can help.

- Weep with those who weep. Daniel is great at this. I started crying at our last NSD day (shocker) because I felt like I saw God working and humbling me, and was sharing with the group (that’s always where I really lose it). He cried with me. Just us two in a group of 10 others. I also remember a moment earlier in the year when we were hanging out on campus and we ran into a student Daniel disciples. He had just found out that they were cutting his sports team from the school- obviously really hard and emotional. Daniel cried.

- This one kind of goes along with the last, but the final thing I learned is to really LOVE the people you are ministering to. Daniel was teaching us one time about one of Bill Bright’s transferable concepts. At the end he showed us a few pictures he keeps in his Bible of people that he is trying to reach with the Good News. The pictures are there so that he will remember to pray for these people and that in seeing them his heart would connect more to them. As he showed us his pictures, he started weeping and sharing how much he loved these people and desired for them to know Christ. It was evident that his love was sincere. I am certain these people know the sincerity of his love, as well.

I still have so much to learn, but I’m really thankful for wiser and more seasoned people to learn from.

These are my reflections from NSD…not that you asked ;) 

i love these faces

As our year with students has wrapped up and we’ve transitioned off campus for now, it was fun for me to look back at this video today. One of our teammates created it partway through the second semester. I love all of these faces. Enjoy!

City Cru Students Speak from Leah St. Pierre on Vimeo.

Yay for May...

This fast-paced blogging world is TOO fast-paced right now. I mean, I think I'm getting ahead by blogging a whopping 6 times in April and then here I am in the middle of May with nothin’. Reality check, though: There are FAR more important things in life than the vain pursuit of you knowing about my life. But with that being said, I’d love to tell you about my life… hehe.

May is consistently one of my favorite months of the year. It’s just solid. From the beginning of wedding season to birthdays galore, to celebrating moms and graduates antsy for their diploma, it’s just gold. I love being born in March- I kind of have March pride, but I’m pretty sure you May people know that you got it goin’ on. Here is a pretty unexhaustive list of some highlights of May so far:

Staff Retreat: The retreat officially started in April, but since it ended on May 1, it gets May status. We trekked down to Oxnard for the 2-day Pacific Southwest Regional Retreat. It was a real blessing. I would describe it as: fun, refreshing, relaxing, encouraging, reflective, and necessary. I am lucky enough to have some really close friends also work for Campus Crusade, and thus, this retreat and others like it are the PERFECT excuse to chat for hours sans husbands (though we love them, re-living the girl power status of college days is so fun). On top of old friends, the new just add to the fun. We love our team here in San Francisco, and all around we work with such a high caliber of people that we respect, enjoy, and learn from. It’s seriously such a perk.

 

Birthdays! Though we’ve celebrated others from a distance (hey, birthday boy Mark St. Pierre!), we have gotten to part-ay with a few friends for their birthdays in person. Both Erin Cox and Eva Van Horn turned 24 this month and it’s always so fun to celebrate your peeps. Erin’s parent's house is quite possibly the coziest and most welcoming home you’ll ever enter and so any excuse to go hang out there is welcome. Add that to celebrating the birth of dear Erin and it makes for a great Saturday, May 7. We are so blessed to have close friends from college live in the Bay Area. We celebrated Eva on Monday and had a girl’s night of Indian food, cake, and gifts. Her adoring husband was MIA for the week, so we took care of the birthday girl in his absence. We are equally as blessed to have new friends to celebrate and spend time with.

 

SLO! En route to Oxnard, we got to stop and spend a night in the “promised land”…good ol’ San Luis Obispo. Now, while (most days) I don’t want to live in SLO anymore (kinda), I LOVE visiting. I got to visit with my dear friend Kellye and hear all about her life, which is so much of what my time is SLO was even about- chatting over coffee at the Nautical Bean! We visited Tammy at Upper Crust and just feel so loved that we still matter to her and that it is still a place that feels like home. We ate at Firestone and Pizza Solo and had Yogurt Creations. We got an Old West cinnamon roll in Pismo. (Don’t judge me for how much we ate.) It was lovely. Matt and I are going to be really annoying to our kids when we take them to visit someday…”We used to walk on that sidewalk!” and “I love that gas station!” I would love to re-live college. But I know I can’t and so I’m thankful that what I have instead is a whole lot of great memories, a great place to vacation that feels like home, and some quality friends that will last a lifetime.

The end of the school year. I’m not happy it’s over in the sense that I won’t miss our students or that I don’t like doing ministry. Moreso, it was just a great last two weeks of ministry, and an encouraging and full and emotional and celebratory ending to the year. More on this another time, but we have had so many moments of being overwhelmed as we are taking this time to look back on all the amazing things God had done, and his graciousness in allowing us a glimpse into it. We were so busy last week wrapping everything up with students, but it was so worth it. I cried a lot. But in a good way. In thanks and celebration.

And, great news, it’s only May 12^th!

(Disclaimer: Please don’t think my life is awesome, perfect, or better than yours, by the way. I don't think it is. I think that’s the worst thing about blog world. I want to share good and fun and exciting things in my life with you, but I fear you’ll think that I think my life is somehow better or cooler. I assure you it’s not, though I’m really thankful for a lot of things. Every once in awhile I need that reminder about other people’s lives, so hope that helps any who are like me!)

Good Friday Prayer

“Savior of the world, what have you done to deserve this? And what have we done to deserve you? Strung up between criminals, cursed and spat upon, you wait for death, and look for us, for us whose sin has crucified you.

To the mystery of undeserved suffering, you bring deeper mystery of unmerited love. Forgive us for not knowing what we have done; open our eyes to see what you are doing now, as through wood and nails, you disempower our depravity and transform us by your grace.” -(Prayer from City Church Good Friday service)

Thank God that..."We are an Easter people in a Good Friday world." (-Fred Harrell) 

Easter comes tomorrow! And He is risen!

Maundy Thursday and Dancer.

We attended a Maundy Thursday service last night at church. In case you don't know (because I didn't) Maundy means “mandate”, and this is the observance and memorial of Jesus’ institution of the meal we still share together as the Body of Christ, and his commandment- his mandate- given after washing his disciple’s feet, which says: “I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” (John 13:15) 

Just as I have done to you, so you must do. He then goes on to say how no servant is greater than his master. Jesus is clear in saying that he has set an example not just that his disciples would see it and move along, but they, we, would follow and imitate his example. That we would do just as he did.

One of the things that struck me most last night was the fact that Jesus washed Judas’ feet, as well. He didn’t skip the betrayer. He didn’t even qualify his mandate to the "good" disciples to say, “Do what I have done…except Judas will leave and betray me so don’t worry about that guy.” Let's not forget the "good" disciples turn out not so good only a few hours later. Peter would deny him and they would all scatter out of fear and disbelief, as he was nailed to a cross for even their sins. This is truly a difficult command, one that brings us to the end of ourselves and that challenges our sense of entitlement and opinions of who is deserving.

I feel thankful that just a few weeks ago, the Lord brought this reality home for me. City Team is one of the ministries that our church serves. The organization wears lots of hats, but generally, they serve the poor and marginalized of San Francisco through substance abuse recovery, serving meals, and providing clothing and any other resources they can. 

On Saturdays, one of their ministries is foot washing. Folks can come in off the streets and have their feet washed, soaked, massaged, lotioned, powdered, and finished off with a new pair of socks. Throughout that process, the foot-washers gets the privilege of hearing life stories, praying for their “clients”, and making a pretty intimate relational connection. The intent of the foot-washing ministry is to meet a tangible need of many people whose feet are hurting, sore, and dirty from always walking and being outside; but I think more obviously and significantly, the heart of the ministry is to follow Jesus’ example.

So, Matt and I spent our time with City Team a few weeks ago washing feet. It was beautiful, really. But I’ll get to my real point. 

I washed three men’s feet. The third man’s name was “Dancer”. He cut in line to get his feet washed, but somehow got away with it, so there he sat in my chair. Over the forty-five minutes we spent together, he shared with me how he been to jail for beating up his girlfriend and stabbing someone. He explained how he will never leave San Francisco because he can get SO much free stuff…how he doesn’t even need most of it…how he takes food and toiletries from City Team but has more than enough in the residential hotel room he lives in. He explained how he and his girlfriend have a crack habit and how he would dump her because she’s selfish, but then he’d be lonely. I didn’t like Dancer. To be completely honest and blunt about it, I was disgusted by him and there I was washing his feet, rubbing lotion on them, powdering them, right before he tried to take an extra pair of socks when everyone else only got one. Something that felt righteous in me did not want to be washing Dancer’s feet. Something in me told me he didn’t deserve it. No, I didn’t like Dancer and I wanted to excuse him from the foot-washing station and my presence. 

But then I remembered that I follow Jesus, who though none were deserving, not one, he kept himself on the cross for the sake of the greedy, murderous, idolatrous, deceitful, and rebellious world.

“Truly, truly I say to you, no servant is greater than his master…” John 13:16

This mandate of Jesus is difficult, but it is beautiful, it sets us free, and it is His Way. It is the way of undeserved grace, mercy, and service, and pure, true, and radical humility. Oh, to become more like him.  

Memory Verse (s) and more.

We are heading into our last 3 weeks of ministry on campus for this school year, and finishing our first year of full-time vocational ministry. There is so much to say of growth, struggle, learnings, joys, regrets, and praises. But, just for today, know that this verse has been and will be my prayer in these last few weeks, in the midst of weariness and the temptation to cruise to the finish line of May 13^th.

“Therefore my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord knowing that in the Lord, your labor is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58

It's very comforting to know that, if in Lord, our work is never in vain. 

We received a training at our staff meeting today from our Campus Crusade Bay Area director. He is working on his Ph.d. right now, is a professor at Fuller seminary, and does ministry at Stanford. Really smart guy. He shared so much good stuff, but one thing he shared, in passing really, was what he used to share with his students at Stanford. He would tell them, "Stanford is making you a lot of promises they can't keep. If you bank on those promises they'll end in death. Life comes from Jesus Christ alone."

 We talked a lot today about how Jesus' promise of LIFE, and LIFE abundantly (John 10:9), is at the very heart of the gospel. That the promise of Christ is goodness and true life in the way God intended it. In all of our relationships- with God, self, others, creation, and our work- and in our lives here partly, but eventually, completely. 

At the end of the gospel of John, he summarizes by saying, "...these are written so that you may understand the Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." (John 20:31) Jesus came that we may have LIFE in his name. 

So...

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

It is healthy for me to remember the brevity of this life. As I remember the "here then gone again" nature of life- the vapor, dust to dust, passing wind nature of my humanity- it reminds me that my truest life is coming in God's kingdom, which necessitates a value shift in my days here. It makes my sojourning here and now more meaningful, more urgent, more rooted in the values of the kingdom that is here but not fully. It is good for me to remember that our time here is short so that I don't dig my roots too deep. 

Whether it is Stanford, Cal Poly, a magazine cover, my own desires for riches or praise, there are lots of promises of life, joy, peace, and fulfillment being thrown at me in the world; and yet, only one promise for life will truly hold up, and it is that we have life in His name. Thank you, Jesus.