New Staff Development

Every month of this year we spent one day in Berkeley with other Bay Area Campus Crusade staff learning, being trained, and hanging out for the day. The other 29-30 days of the month we are trying to live out the things we learn there, as well as to spend a bit of time reading the pre-selected articles and material. These New Staff Development (NSD) days were a real bright spot in my year. Daniel Curran is the staff person responsible for our training and our fearless leader every month. I have much respect for Daniel, and have learned a great deal from him this year. As I’ve been reflecting a bit on the year, I was reflecting on some of the things I learned from these days.

 

I can confidently say that every time I walked away from an NSD day, I have one application: Pray more.

It is so simple, and yet so hard. It was so striking to me that more than any strategy, tool, book, or skill, PRAYER is the heart of “good” ministry.

Here are a few of the other things that I stood out to me over our year of NSD:

- Pray. Really can’t emphasize enough the impression this made on me. I have been realizing that my job as a missionary is to give people the opportunity to know Jesus and have their lives changed by him, but I can’t actually do the changing. I can share the Word with them, invite students to Bible study, take them to serve the poor, and so on. But GOD has to do something in between my words/the event and their hearts to actually change anyone. Sometimes when I’m talking to a student, and I’m challenging them or sharing Scripture etc, I’ll actually say, “I’m going to say something, but in order for it to actually matter the Holy Spirit has to do something in the space between my lips and your ears.” That’s the truth. So, any event, conversation, Bible study, or relationship MUST be covered in prayer. I have not been great at this.

- “90% of ministry is just showing up.” I know what Daniel means when I says this. If coupled with, again, prayer; if we are led by the Spirit and available to people, God will work, despite or in spite of our plans, preparation, skill, or knowledge.

- Another Daniel-ism that has stuck with me is “Ministry by Sitting Around”. From our very first time together, Daniel shared with us his “strategy” of just being on campus, being available, sitting around- without a plan or agenda- and just seeing what God does. For example, at San Francisco State it’s really common to be sitting at a table in the student center and have someone ask if they can share your table with you. Now, if you weren’t sitting there, alone, without an agenda, you would never have come across this person. But, there they are- sitting across from you, eating lunch, and a conversation is the most natural response to said human sitting across from you. This is true with people who are doing surveys, passing out fliers, or protesting things on campus. There is so much activity going on, and if you are just “sitting around” campus, you are BOUND to talk with people. I haven’t always been great at this. Many times I fill up my schedule and make myself busy with appointments and meetings with students I already know because it’s a bit safer and more predictable. 

- Say hi to…everyone (okay, within reason). Ask about their lives. Ask if he can pray for them. Ask how else you can help.

- Weep with those who weep. Daniel is great at this. I started crying at our last NSD day (shocker) because I felt like I saw God working and humbling me, and was sharing with the group (that’s always where I really lose it). He cried with me. Just us two in a group of 10 others. I also remember a moment earlier in the year when we were hanging out on campus and we ran into a student Daniel disciples. He had just found out that they were cutting his sports team from the school- obviously really hard and emotional. Daniel cried.

- This one kind of goes along with the last, but the final thing I learned is to really LOVE the people you are ministering to. Daniel was teaching us one time about one of Bill Bright’s transferable concepts. At the end he showed us a few pictures he keeps in his Bible of people that he is trying to reach with the Good News. The pictures are there so that he will remember to pray for these people and that in seeing them his heart would connect more to them. As he showed us his pictures, he started weeping and sharing how much he loved these people and desired for them to know Christ. It was evident that his love was sincere. I am certain these people know the sincerity of his love, as well.

I still have so much to learn, but I’m really thankful for wiser and more seasoned people to learn from.

These are my reflections from NSD…not that you asked ;) 

Good Friday Prayer

“Savior of the world, what have you done to deserve this? And what have we done to deserve you? Strung up between criminals, cursed and spat upon, you wait for death, and look for us, for us whose sin has crucified you.

To the mystery of undeserved suffering, you bring deeper mystery of unmerited love. Forgive us for not knowing what we have done; open our eyes to see what you are doing now, as through wood and nails, you disempower our depravity and transform us by your grace.” -(Prayer from City Church Good Friday service)

Thank God that..."We are an Easter people in a Good Friday world." (-Fred Harrell) 

Easter comes tomorrow! And He is risen!

Birthday weekend haps.

I write to you for the first time as a 24 year old. That’s still so young, huh? I feel older than that, but well, I’m not. 24 it is, and I'm lookin' forward to a new year of life. I had a great birthday weekend and wanted to share just a few pictures from it. 

First, on Friday, Matt threw me a surprise party. I...was...shocked. It was seriously the most surprised I have ever been, maybe ever. We went to dinner for Thai food beforehand with our dear friends Jordan and Eva. Jordan's birthday was earlier in the week so we were both on the birthday train. Dinner was fun enough for me. I love spending time with the Van Horns, but no! That wasn't all. Our plan as far as I knew was to go back to the Van Horn's for cake and ice cream with a few other friends, but little did I know it would be thirty other friends. It was a joint party for Jordan and I that Eva and Matt had put together and it was such a blessing.

 This is my friend Alex. She's great and made me homemade ice cream and fudge. We work together and I'm SO glad. 

 Look who made it out to San Francisco for the occasion! I was so excited to see these old friends. I thought I would be seeing them the next day for our own little celebration but they made it out for the surprise, as well, and it was so fun to have blend my worlds a bit. 

 Waidley's. Love 'em. 

 This is my dear, sweet friend Eva. I love her. She was the hostess with the mostess and party planner extraordinaire. Again, love her. 

 Our awesome sign. 

 There's Dusty. Always the life of the party. 

 This guy really spoiled me all weekend and made one very happy birthday girl. He really kept this a secret, too. Totally respectable secret keeper. 

 Friends.

The second event of the weekend was a de-lish brunch with some friends from college (and from the present, but you know what I mean). We had egg casserole, creme brulee french toast, bacon, fruit, coffee and juice. It was so fun to host them all at our home and to spend some time together all together like we haven't in awhile. 

 We missed you Bethany, Kimmy, and Lyss!

Matt also made a surprise appointment for me to have a Thai massage, which I was a little nervous about at first, but it was AMAZING. He knew just what I would want for a gift. We went to dinner that night at "The Richmond"- a classy restaurant in our neighborhood. It was lovely and classy and I wore a dress, which is usually only confined to weddings. On Sunday, we went to church and to a flea market I've been wanting to go to. My parents and Sunnie and Cory came over later in the day. We went for a walk- one of my favorite things in the world, especially around our house- and then went out to dinner. 

Walkin'. 

All in all, it was an incredibly restful weekend. I'm thankful for good friends- and to have "made new friends and kept the old". I'm thankful for good food. For Matt and a husband who works hard to show me how much he loves me and make me feel special. I'm thankful to live close to my parents. And for people who call, text, facebook, and snail mail me for doing nothing but being born. I'm thankful to live in a beautiful city. I'm thankful to be alive and to be created as "his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (ephesians 2) Here's to 24 and another year of adventures!

Honoring Martin Luther King, Jr.

As I write this, I’m listening to Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream” speech. What an incredible orator he was. If you have the day off: happy day off! I think this is a worthy day to get to stay home from work because I think MLK was incredible. He was courageous.

It has come to my mind often lately how courage is a truly admirable and praiseworthy quality. Courage is defined (by Webster) as “the ability to do something that frightens one” and “strength in the face of pain or grief”. Sometimes I think that my generation has replaced a value of courage, with a new ultimate value of individualism, freedom of choice, and comfort. Sadly, I’m often part of that. Courage isn’t something that I think about very often. More than being known as courageous, sometimes I’d rather just be safe, or try to fight worthy battles from the sidelines.

We watched two movies this past week that reminded me that courage is beautiful and powerful. When I see true  courage, it shakes me. We watched “The Kite Runner” first. Hassan is the servant and best friend of Amir. Hassan would do, and does, anything for Amir. At one point, he is beaten and raped by teenage boys because he refuses to give them something that belongs to Amir, and so he knowingly takes their abuse. The courage displayed here in his loyalty to the point of sacrifice is heart wrenching. It costs Hassan something, and he really never gets any glory for his courage. In fact, he gets framed for theft by Amir and fired as the family’s servant. It becomes clear that Amir doesn’t know how to handle the intensity, boldness, and purity of Hassan’s love and commitment to him. Something about courage in others is scary and convicting.

The second movie we watched was “Milk”. It is the story of Harvey Milk, the first elected gay supervisor in San Francisco, and the first elected gay official in the country. Harvey Milk battles for the last 8 years of his life for the rights of the gay community, and is eventually assassinated. Several time during his career his life had been threatened, and he knows very well this is a risk of being a voice and fighting for what he believed was right. And yet, he continues. He was courageous in the face of danger on behalf so many others who would benefit from his tenacity and boldness.

And Martin Luther King, Jr. was certainly courageous, as well. I can’t really imagine because I have never had to experience living in a culture, society, political system, and government that said I wasn’t as valuable, didn’t deserve the same rights, and at the core wasn’t the same brand of human as others…based only on the color of my skin. MLK’s courage gave courage to others. MLK’s courage gave dignity to his opponents and his allies. He was courageous enough to meet physical force with “soul force”, to fight with words and reason instead of his fist, to have a dream and a vision beyond what he could see, and to walk towards it despite the resistance he met. I respect so much that he saw the value in every person, and yearned for a brotherhood of humanity, not just for his own race. He was an example to those who oppressed him. Martin Luther King Jr. died for the sake of others who would get to experience the fruit of the things he fought for. He was about something far bigger than himself or his family, and that takes courage.

 I speak of and honor that kind of courage today- courage that is leveraged for the good of others. Courage that is rooted in the betterment of others, in loyalty, in bringing justice where there is none. Courage that leads to sacrifice and sacrifice at times to the point of death. It takes courage to believe that things can change and that you can be a part of it- that you could even be the change. It is risky and it will instantly earn you enemies to stand up for something that the world doesn’t value or yet see, yet it is courageous to follow your vision for what better is. This is the stuff of Christ, and it is beautiful.

MLK Jr. says in his speech at one point, “Now is the time…now is the time…now is the time…” I’m reflecting on that today- on the injustices that still plague our country and our world, and what it means to say that now really is the time. I'm aware of and thankful that there are thousands of people in the world today, people in my life even, that are courageously facing trials of many kinds, fighting for justice and bringing the kingdom of God to the world, and loving others in extravagant ways all at great risk to themselves. I'm grateful for the example they are to me, and that the kind of courage we honor today isn't beyond me or you, it is attainable and we have had others go before us. I’m grateful for what MLK Jr. did today for the black community and for all of us.

“If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long. Every now and then I wonder what I want them to say…I’d like somebody to mention that day, that Martin Luther King, Jr. tried to give his life serving others. I’d like for somebody to say that day that Martin Luther King, Jr. tried to love somebody. I want you to say that I tried to be right on the war question. I want you to be able to say that day, that I did try to feed the hungry. And I want you to be able to say that day, that I did try, in my life, to clothe those who were naked. I want you to say, on that day, that I did try, in my life, to visit those who were in prison. I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity.”

–Martin Luther King, Jr. 1968, two months before his assassination

My Dads.

My dad and I have always had a special relationship. I love him and have this big soft spot in my heart for him, and that’s really all there is to it. I think the man is hysterical. He’s one of my favorite people to reminisce with and hash out old memories. We spent lots of time together growing up because of all the basketball stuff we did together. We saw Bring it On together in the theatre, would sing with hairbrush microphones in the car, and I for some reason thought it was okay to chase him around with water and throw it on him…a lot. He loved it though. He is a hard worker. He thinks I’m funny (I love that). He’ll often just call and leave me a message in the morning to tell me how proud of me he is and that he loves me. I feel very safe with my dad and overall just really trust him. I remember being little and being scared to be driving home in a snowstorm or something- but if my dad was driving, my fear was gone. I just knew that he’d do everything he could to keep us safe.  He’s not perfect, far from it (though he’s always told me he’s like Mary Poppins- “practically perfect in every way”), and yet I appreciate that I have seen my dad grow and change and become a better human being over the years. It’s kind of ridiculous actually how often Matt calls me “Phil” because I say or do something that makes me look or sound like a mini-version of my dad. I’m okay with that. 

I don’t write this because it’s his birthday or father’s day but because I feel really thankful in a world with lots of not so great dads to have one like him. I don’t take that lightly because quite honestly I know that having a dad like him is kind of hard to come by. I know that not everyone has experienced having a father at all, many had not great fathers, and many have had great dads and have lost them already. Though I’m not a man and will never be a father I know that it is a great responsibility and so I’m grateful.

We got to spend the evening with my parents a couple nights ago, which is a nice benefit of living in the Bay Area again. We were reminiscing about when my dad first moved out to California in 1998. He came 9 months before my sisters and my mom and I because we had to finish school, sell our house, and wrap up what was our whole life in Maryland. He mentioned how I would write him letters and how he saved all of them and still has them. We remembered how we’d send him videos of each of my sister and I’s basketball games and he shared how he would watch each of them…multiple times. I remember the morning he left. He cried and I WEPT. I missed my dad so much during those 9 months. I started watching John Wayne movies religiously so that we could talk about them when he’d come home to visit. My dad loved John Wayne, and in his absence I just started to love the things he loved because I missed him and wanted to make him happy and connect with him when he came for a visit. 

I’m sure you can guess where this is going and I would hate to sound cliché or to make little of the old earthly father to heavenly father analogy. In my heart and mind, these moments of realization and reminders from the Lord aren’t cliché moments, but moments of God’s goodness and grace breaking through.

God is a good Father. He is a perfect father, and better than my earthly father. Jesus said, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11) But really, if my dad is great and he is a sinner like we all are, how much greater is the love, protection, enjoyment, and adoration of a perfect Father. Jesus also says, "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32) It is our Father’s pleasure to give us the thing that is our greatest joy and life's purpose. His perfect love casts out all fear. He calls me his beloved daughter. He wants what’s best for me, would do anything for me and already has by sending his Son to die for me. God is fully concerned with my life. He has left me the longest and hardest to understand morning voicemail through his word and is trusting me do the work of the family business- building the kingdom. And hopefully, someday, he’ll say to my face, “Well done…I’m proud of you.”

Jesus says things like, “Be perfect, as your father is perfect”, “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful”, “Forgive as your Father has forgiven you”. I’m supposed to be like God just like I’m like Phil. And what’s really cool, is that just like I’ve seen a lot of my dad in me as I’ve gotten older, by the grace of God, I see my heavenly Father making me more like him over time, as well. And just like I started to “love” John Wayne in my dad’s absence, I have been growing in my love of things the Father loves. I’m asking him to help me to more and more love the nations, the poor and weak, His word, the church, the lost, and his creation.

In short, I think the knowledge that God would watch my fifth grade basketball games multiple times, save my letters to him (or collect my teardrops/know the number of hairs on my head…that’s awesome, too), and that His imprint is more and more on my life is pretty incredible. I’m thankful to have a great dad in the physical absence of the ultimate Dad, and thankful that ultimately there is a perfect Dad that I can fully and eternally trust, enjoy, and love.

I hope this is a timely reminder and encouragement to you today of how good God is and how much He loves you, and that in response you’d love him and the things he loves. 

My own thankful list.

I’m a day late I know, but Happy Thanksgiving to all! We spent our Thanksgiving 2010 at the St. Pierre’s, with the Pedretti side of the family. We began our day with the 2^nd annual St. Pierre 10k Turkey Trot, which I have come to firmly believe is the best way to start Thanksgiving because then the first 600 calories are free! We made shirts this year, even though we had only three participants again. We’re hoping for growth in future years.

I love reading people’s thankful lists. And while I agree that it may seem a bit cliché to do a thankful list like everyone else, (and mine is especially bad because it’s the day AFTER the day to be thankful), I’m going to do it because I think it’s really cool to be able to share with people and give credit to the Lord for all the things He is doing. I love the example that the psalmists give us of thanksgiving, gratitude, and joy that is found in who God is and the wondrous things He has done.

“Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving…” Psalm 95:1-2

My far from comprehensive “thankful list” of 2010:

I’m thankful for the Body of Christ. This struck me the other day. We moved to San Francisco which SHOULD feel very lonely, scary, and unknown. However, I see God’s purposes in plan in uniting his people to create a family. We have found that we are never alone. We love our new church and we belong there because we are seeking to know Christ more with everyone else there. We are new to our community group, and yet we belong there because our desire is to grow in our love for God and each other. We have been traveling a bit lately. And yet, no matter where we are, we are at home in the Body of Christ. We can attend a service at CPC in Merced and feel known and like we belong, we can share a meal with people we see only a handful of times each year and be encouraged and built up because we have Christ in common. I’m really thankful for that in a time of transition.

I’m thankful for a husband who loves God more than me, but loves me more and better because of that. He is also really funny, sweet, passionate, and kind. He’s my best friend. He always says he’s sorry, and also forgives me when I say I’m sorry. I think that’s a great quality. It’s been a really fun year and a half, and I’m thankful God gave me Matt to sojourn with. Ah, sojourning together.

I’m thankful for sisters. I hate that I don’t get to see them nearly enough. It’s weird how as you grow up, you all kind of start your own lives with differing professions, get married, have kids, move to different places, and so on. I am so thankful though to have these two people who know where I came from, share all kinds of memories of home videos made, vacations undertaken, Christmas mornings, bunk beds shared, and everything else that takes place from age 0-18, when previously mentioned lives begin forming. Though, we don’t see each other nearly enough, I feel very thankful that God gave me two sisters.

...For Parents. Both Matt and I feel incredibly grateful for our parents. They’re both the kinds of people that will do anything for you. Yes, you. But especially, us. Never for a day of my life have I had to doubt my parents love for me or doubt the fact that their highest priority was my well-being (and my sisters, and now Simon and their son-in-law). They’re both the kind of people that always pick up the tab, never mind us bringing all our laundry to their homes, will drive three hours just to see us for a day, slave over elaborate meals to celebrate the fact that their families are together. Since my parents raised me and made me, I have a special sense of gratitude for their life-long care, provision, and love- and for the fun they’ve added to my life. I feel lucky to have really fun parents who love to have a good time, maybe even more than I do. My parents are some of the most generous, welcoming, sincere, fun people I know. And to add to that, I got to marry into a family where I’ve never had to doubt if they love me either. I don’t say that because I think I’M great, but because I’ve been lucky enough to have in-laws that show they love me by their actions, words, conversation, and support of Matt and I. They are more like friends than “in-laws” (which sounds way more formal and detached than I feel towards them), and I marvel at how already I feel that I can be completely myself around them because they allow me to and they are unconditionally loving…I feel sorry for them as this sometimes includes spontaneous fits of dancing, laughter, loudness, chasing their son, asking lots of questions, and being a little too talkative for my own good. They are sincere, loving, thoughtful, fun, generous, intentional people. I’m so thankful for the parents God has given us. We’ll never say “thank you” enough to them.

...A body that works. I'm thankful that, at least for this season of life, I'm healthy and my body works in pretty much all the ways that it should. It may not always be this way, but I'm thankful for it now. 

...Older women to learn from. Lord knows I need this, as frequently or infrequently as I get to be around them. I think specifically of Allison Priola, Tammy Arlen, Christine Kernaghan, Rachel Medefind, and my mothers and sisters. 

...San Francisco. I’m thankful God called us here. It’s been hard at moments, but overall we just feel thankful to be where we’re supposed to be. It’s a beautiful, fun, diverse, and tiring city, and we get to call it home for this season.

...Friends in the Bay Area. Living in San Francisco is easier because we have such great friends and family in the Bay Area. Many of our best friends from college have since made the move up to the Bay, and it makes my life so much easier to have people only a drive-across-the bridge away. These people know me and still love me, and it is incredibly comforting to know that a coffee date to pour out my cuts is in reach. I haven’t lived this close to my parents in 5 years, as well, and it’s really nice to be able to see them so much more.

...Friends who pursue me even though they don’t live in the Bay Area. AND, for those who aren’t a drive-over-the-bridge away, I feel so thankful for people who are a phone call or email away. I’m amazed at the caliber of people God has put in my life, and how he has knit my heart closely to many dear friends along the way. I’m thankful for those who still want to be my friend even though we don’t live in the same town or go to school together anymore. Seriously, I just feel thankful to have friends. They make life better.

...SLO.  This place shaped us and sent us. We love getting to go back for a visit. It’s really special, and we’re thankful we had the opportunity to live there.

...Our home. We feel very blessed by the delightful “flat” we get to rent in SF. It allows us to give people a place to stay and return the favor so many have done for us. After long days and weeks, it’s a sanctuary and the perfect place to rest. We have so many beautiful places within walking/running (takes a little more motivation…) distance. I love that we have a park across the street so we can make the most of sunny San Francisco days, even if we only see the sun for an hour or two.

...Students at SF State. I’m so thankful for the students we’ve met at SF State even in our first three months in SF. We love them. We are learning so much from them. And they make my days fun, and full, and meaningful. The girls I get to spend time with either over coffee or lunch, just sitting around on campus, in a dorm room or study lounge, are making my job and this season of my life full of purpose, joy, and fun.

...Our Ministry Partners. We have a team of people who pray for us, sacrifice on behalf of what God has put in front of us as ministry, write us sweet emails, postcards, and notes, and we feel genuinely are invested in our day to day lives. We are amazed and so thankful at how God, again, uses his people to supply each other’s needs, to advance his kingdom, to encourage each other, and to not “grow weary in doing good”. We feel God’s provision and care in our lives through our ministry partners.

...Life-giving things: like cooking and baking (and taking a long time to do it), reading, having coffee with a friends, going for a walk or a run, being in SLO, being around my sweet nephew, date nights with Matt, exploring San Francisco, creativity, giving and receiving gifts, being outside, being on vacation, hearing people talk who are really living out their faith and walking with Jesus, getting together with people we haven’t seen for awhile, and so on.

...Taken fore granted things. The fact that we ate more food yesterday then most people will see in a lifetime…(I don’t know if I’m thankful for this or more saddened and a little embarrassed).  Hot showers, clean sheets, cable, wireless internet, cell phones, a bank account and savings, a car, a job, the ability to have a full refrigerator if we want one, to stop at Starbucks if we want one, and to eat out if the opportunity presents itself. (I have mixed feelings about all of these things- I’m so so thankful for the privilege we live in. I’m also wondering how much all of the aforementioned things keep me from needing God?)

I’m thankful that “…while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly…God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

So, Happy belated THANKSgiving, to all! If you’re reading this, you probably fall into one of the categories I just named, and even if not, I’m probably pretty thankful for you, too. 

We're Here and God is Good.

               

We moved to San Francisco one week ago today! 

It is an absolute miracle that we are here…and we have truly been thanking our all-sufficient, abundantly providing, always Good, God. Don't get me wrong, God would be Good even if we weren’t living in San Francisco right now, or if we never made it. But, for whatever reason He chose to be good to us in this season of our lives through the incredible outpouring of love, encouragement, and resources of His people- many of you who are hopefully reading this. We feel overwhelmed. Life has been a bit of a whirlwind, but God has been so kind and gentle and good to us. 

The deal was that before we could move to SF we had to have all of our financial support fully raised. Ask anyone who has ever raised financial support- you have your days when you wonder if you’ll ever get there. You have lots of those kinds of days. You wonder how a large sum of money will come together in a matter of a few months…and in the meantime how you will find a place to live, then actually do the move, and all the while prepare your heart and mind to do the job you’ve been telling everyone your going to do, which is why your actually raising the large sum of money in the first place! But then, God just does it. He is socreative and bountiful when He does, and it's so fun to watch. Matt and I felt just absolutely overwhelmed in the past two weeks as the last of our support poured in, about 20%, over the course of 2 or 3 days. 

Support-raising is such a balance of diligence and hard work, and trusting God. And knowing that ultimately it really isn’t about your diligence or hard work. Confusing, right? I need to tell you, though, that I see so much value in this process. We learned so much in those three months. I assure you that no one tells us we have to say that, and we're not trained on how to write something like this. And I know the phrase “hard, but good” is used probably all too widely in Christian circles- but the process is so “hard, but good” (and hey, maybe it isn’t used too much, maybe that’s just how God works). We learned a lot about how to trust God. Again, which sounds cliche. But, God says lots of things in His Word, that don't mean much unless we take the step to actually trust those things, and apply them to our lives. In May, I found myself often fretting and worrying, Martha-ing, if you will . At the end of the summer, I didn’t find myself doing that as much. God did a workto show us His character in a real way in our lives…He showed us that He is faithful, that His first concern is always our hearts and whether or not we love Him most. He showed us that all money belongs to Him and that He uses His people, His Church, to provide for the needs and ministries of other saints. He humbled us by showing us that we couldn’t work hard enough to bring our goal to completion, but that He would bring it to completion when it glorified Him most. He taught Matt and I how to work together, trust each other, and how to be far less controlling (okay, maybe that was more me). He made us so thankful…and reminded us that it is not only in seasons of abundance and blessing that we are to be thankful, but in all circumstances.

We had the absolute privilege of meeting and talking with some of the most phenomenal human beings we have ever met this summer. Generous, sacrifical, faithful, obedient, radical, encouraging, and God-loving, people-loving people. We are so thankful to be part of THE CHURCH. We have been challenged to always be those kinds of people for others…that we are “blessed, to be a blessing”. We feel so thankful to have a team of people...so many of the BEST.

And now, here we find ourselves in San Francisco. Tomorrow, we officially start the work that we told you all this summer that we would be doing. We covet your prayers tomorrow, and every day until the next time we meet or speak and we can remind you again. This is a city in need of Jesus, and in need of Love. But, this is also a BEAUTIFUL city. A city full of God’s creation, and of people who were made in His image to glorify and magnify Him. There are growing and thriving churches here, the Spirit of God is moving, and there are lost and broken people here. All right alongside each other. We covet your prayers to love and serve this city in a way that honors the God who brought us here.

In the past week, we have been unpacking and organzing,exploring our neighborhood and the city a bit to settle in and feel a little more comfortable with our new home. We love our neighborhood and our home, a "flat" to be precise, and are so excited to share it with hopefully many of you. We were able to go on campus for a prayer gathering, where we met two female students, who were absolutely wonderful. We visited a great church and were able to connect with the Lord there and even recognized a few faces. We had our first team breakfast with five out of eight of our team members, where we connected as a team and prayed on the rooftop over the city and students. Maybe we are in a honeymoon phase of sorts, but we love this city. (And it could help that the weather has been perfect.)

And lastly, to all of you who are a part of all of this, thank you. Thank you so much for letting God use you to bring us here. You are a blessing, an answer to prayer, and truly partners and co-laborers in the gospel for the sake of this city.

(On a hike...literally a five minute walk from our house. We feel so blessed.)

Sweet Simon.

What is it about babies that can turn grown men into mush, dogs into security guards, and worshippers of sleep into ‘round the clock feeders, changers, and cuddlers?

We spent a few days in Maryland last week to visit Simon. He is far cuter than I could have imagined. I would hate to sound like I’m just saying that because I have to as one of his only two aunties. I’m not. He is absolutely so sweet and precious. It was four days full of napping with him, kissing his tiny cheeks, lips, and head, changing diapers, changing outfits (for the fun of it), and just holding him as he looked around and took it all in. Simon is four weeks old this Friday, and the world is very new.

I have some thoughts from our time there…

Being a parent is just crazy. I’m not even a parent…so I guess I can’t fully conceive of how crazy it is...but from the outside, I can see that it’s crazy.  You sacrifice so much for your little one and all they know is that they're alive--- but not that they’re alive only because of you! I guess it’s easier to see how grateful we should be for our own parents when you are a parent yourself. You know how many hours of sleep they gave up, how much money they spent, how many diapers they changed.

New life! How amazing! Babies grow inside their moms and live there? As viable humans...living IN someone else?! Everyone starts that way- little dependent, sleepy, sweet, squishy faced, milk-fiends. (Isn't it sad to think that every single person in our prisons was just a little squishy-faced cuddler at one point?) As we grow from babies to children, we trust our parents only more and more and ask them for everything that we need unashamedly. We instinctively know they love us and will provide for us. It’s a big task to be a parent and to show your kids that. There must be something to what God says about coming to him as little children. I always find it amazing how God allows us to understand his character more through different phases of lives- as children, as parents, as husbands and wives, as friends. God doesn’t waste any of these seasons, but only uses them to show us how he relates to us, how he loves us, the way he provides for us, views us, is faithful to us, and would do anything for us. 

I just can’t imagine the kind of love that you experience for your children. I love Simon a lot, and he’s my nephew. I can’t even imagine how absolutely in love with my own child I will be.  

I can see how difficult it would be to not worry your head off about these little humans, and to remember that they aren’t really yours, but just yours to watch over. I understand that idea may even cause offense to some. But I really believe that as parents, spouses, friends, homeowners, pet-havers, job-holders,  and lovers of life, love, and adventure, we are only to steward, care for, and hold loosely the things the Lord has given us. I am reading a book right now called, “A Woman After God’s Own Heart”, and one thing she says at the outset is that she wakes up every morning and offers everything in her life back to God, as the GIVER. All the good things and the gifts and the loved ones in her life- with a knowledge that all things are for Christ, through him, and to him, that God gives and He takes away. Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father and thus is for the purposes and glory of the Father. The danger is to put our roots too deep here on earth as though those things and people were worth living for in themselves. We are sojourners, as are our children.

I am excited to be a mom someday. I feel like it would be such an honor to raise up these little people who are little bit of you and a little bit of your spouse, and to teach them to love the Lord and to love people. Really, to raise them into people who can be effective in the Kingdom of God and raise up their own little people someday. I know that time isn’t now for us, but I’m so excited for when it is. I feel like we know so many people who are pregnant right now or have just had babies, so that will be a good fix. But seriously, thank God for babies.

Celebrating One Year

Matt and I celebrated our one year anniversary on August 2. It felt like such a huge milestone, and well, I guess it was. My parents will celebrate their thirtieth anniversary in May 2011, and Matt’s parents will celebrate thirty years in December 2010. Both sets of our grandparents are or would have been fifty years strong. We have a great legacy of lifetime of commitment in our families, and we’re very thankful for that.

 I think of how far thirty or, FIFTY, years sounds, and I just can’t imagine all of the things that Matt and I will walk through together in that time. We are still green, in comparison to these seasoned veterans. I can't yet fathom the children we will raise, the places and homes we’ll live in, the friends we’ll continue to walk with and meet along the way, and the way that someday all of it will end for us, like it does for everyone. As I write, we’re on a plane flying back to California from a 4-day stint in Maryland. I’m very thankful that I get to fly with Matt for the rest of my life. That might seem silly, but I’m glad we get to go places, literally and figuratively, together.

As we celebrate marriage, covenant, faithfulness, commitment, I think about the greatest legacy of faithfulness we have is found in our God. What a great example of covenant He is for us. Matt and I are so grateful to have the love of the Father- that He has shown us the constancy, commitment, tenacity, forbearance, forgiveness, steadfastness, patience, kindness, service, and humility of His own love, that we might toil year after year to show each other the same kind of love.

“…As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.” Isaiah 62:5

I remember the day we moved into our first apartment, talking to my mom, and her saying, “I still remember your dad and I’s first apartment. Enjoy this year! You’ll always look back and remember it as one of your favorites.” I think she was right. Not that life won’t continue to get better, both easier and harder in good ways. The adventure will certainly continue to be great! But from the vantage point of being married for 1 year and 14 days, there was something very sweet, memorable, and adventuresome about our first year of marriage. I loved our tiny little apartment and (despite the fact that we could offer no bed to weary travelers) loved all of our visitors. I loved learning more about my husband and being known by him. I loved cooking dinner together and eating and catching up on our days, but without the panic of knowing that our hours were numbered, and eventually he’d have to leave. I loved going for walks, not having to talk or talking a lot. I loved washing dishes together, decorating together, and spending whole weekends together. Together is a good thing. I loved getting to sit next to him in church, and loved serving the youth there. I loved seeking the Lord about next steps in life. I loved learning from my husband and being challenged and sharpened in so many ways that I don’t think I would have been without him. Now, it was really hard, too, at times. Thank you God, that by your grace, we walk through those things only to become more like your Son.

I love this quote about marriage:

“Marriage is a vocation. It is a task to which you are called. If it is a task, it means you work at it. It is not something which happens. You hear the call, you answer, you accept the task, you enter into it willingly and eagerly, you commit yourself to its disciplines and responsibilities and limitations and privileges and joys. You concentrate on it, giving yourself to it day after day in a lifelong Yes.”  -Elisabeth Elliot

To celebrate our anniversary, we spent one night and two days in Bass Lake, CA, at the Pines Resort. Matt planned it and surprised me with the location. We hiked, laid out, swim, ate, walked, played cards, and napped. We had a lovely time and felt it was such a gift to be able to get away to celebrate, remember, and be refreshed. Full steam ahead into all the things we can't yet imagine, but will make up our years!