New Staff Development

Every month of this year we spent one day in Berkeley with other Bay Area Campus Crusade staff learning, being trained, and hanging out for the day. The other 29-30 days of the month we are trying to live out the things we learn there, as well as to spend a bit of time reading the pre-selected articles and material. These New Staff Development (NSD) days were a real bright spot in my year. Daniel Curran is the staff person responsible for our training and our fearless leader every month. I have much respect for Daniel, and have learned a great deal from him this year. As I’ve been reflecting a bit on the year, I was reflecting on some of the things I learned from these days.

 

I can confidently say that every time I walked away from an NSD day, I have one application: Pray more.

It is so simple, and yet so hard. It was so striking to me that more than any strategy, tool, book, or skill, PRAYER is the heart of “good” ministry.

Here are a few of the other things that I stood out to me over our year of NSD:

- Pray. Really can’t emphasize enough the impression this made on me. I have been realizing that my job as a missionary is to give people the opportunity to know Jesus and have their lives changed by him, but I can’t actually do the changing. I can share the Word with them, invite students to Bible study, take them to serve the poor, and so on. But GOD has to do something in between my words/the event and their hearts to actually change anyone. Sometimes when I’m talking to a student, and I’m challenging them or sharing Scripture etc, I’ll actually say, “I’m going to say something, but in order for it to actually matter the Holy Spirit has to do something in the space between my lips and your ears.” That’s the truth. So, any event, conversation, Bible study, or relationship MUST be covered in prayer. I have not been great at this.

- “90% of ministry is just showing up.” I know what Daniel means when I says this. If coupled with, again, prayer; if we are led by the Spirit and available to people, God will work, despite or in spite of our plans, preparation, skill, or knowledge.

- Another Daniel-ism that has stuck with me is “Ministry by Sitting Around”. From our very first time together, Daniel shared with us his “strategy” of just being on campus, being available, sitting around- without a plan or agenda- and just seeing what God does. For example, at San Francisco State it’s really common to be sitting at a table in the student center and have someone ask if they can share your table with you. Now, if you weren’t sitting there, alone, without an agenda, you would never have come across this person. But, there they are- sitting across from you, eating lunch, and a conversation is the most natural response to said human sitting across from you. This is true with people who are doing surveys, passing out fliers, or protesting things on campus. There is so much activity going on, and if you are just “sitting around” campus, you are BOUND to talk with people. I haven’t always been great at this. Many times I fill up my schedule and make myself busy with appointments and meetings with students I already know because it’s a bit safer and more predictable. 

- Say hi to…everyone (okay, within reason). Ask about their lives. Ask if he can pray for them. Ask how else you can help.

- Weep with those who weep. Daniel is great at this. I started crying at our last NSD day (shocker) because I felt like I saw God working and humbling me, and was sharing with the group (that’s always where I really lose it). He cried with me. Just us two in a group of 10 others. I also remember a moment earlier in the year when we were hanging out on campus and we ran into a student Daniel disciples. He had just found out that they were cutting his sports team from the school- obviously really hard and emotional. Daniel cried.

- This one kind of goes along with the last, but the final thing I learned is to really LOVE the people you are ministering to. Daniel was teaching us one time about one of Bill Bright’s transferable concepts. At the end he showed us a few pictures he keeps in his Bible of people that he is trying to reach with the Good News. The pictures are there so that he will remember to pray for these people and that in seeing them his heart would connect more to them. As he showed us his pictures, he started weeping and sharing how much he loved these people and desired for them to know Christ. It was evident that his love was sincere. I am certain these people know the sincerity of his love, as well.

I still have so much to learn, but I’m really thankful for wiser and more seasoned people to learn from.

These are my reflections from NSD…not that you asked ;) 

i love these faces

As our year with students has wrapped up and we’ve transitioned off campus for now, it was fun for me to look back at this video today. One of our teammates created it partway through the second semester. I love all of these faces. Enjoy!

City Cru Students Speak from Leah St. Pierre on Vimeo.

A little part of how I'm doing and what I'm learning

Well, hello blog world.

This feels like one of the nicest moments I’ve had in awhile. It’s pouring outside. I have a chai latte with soymilk that I was able to make from the pleasure of my own home. My husband is asleep on the couch “listening” to a basketball game (basketball games are a large part of my life recently and I don’t anticipate that changing until March Madness ends. I give it to him this time of year though. It makes him real happy.) I have a candle lit and I just got out of the shower. Sure, we have to leave for Bible Study in 40 minutes, but the feat of not only getting a moment to be on the couch, but to actually be productive and feel mental energy is something I don’t quite feel like I’ve experienced enough recently.

To be honest, I’ve been feeling utterly exhausted. It’s been really hard to wake up in the morning (not just because of daylight savings, but seriously that has only compounded my struggles). And then, when I do have a spare moment at home during the day or at night I feel like all I want to do is sleep or “veg” out, leaving little time or energy for things that actually, truly give me life and create new energy. I don’t think I’m unique, necessarily, and I certainly don’t want to be a martyr and pretend that my life is harder than anyone else’s. It’s NOT. Everyone is busy. Everyone wants more time. Everyone is tired. Such is life on this side of eternity and living life in a Kingdom that is both here but not quite yet. I am no exception and yet I’m feeling some of these pains right now.

If you had asked me how I was doing a month ago, I would have told you that I was in a really great place with the Lord. I felt like for the first time, maybe ever, I was learning how to walk in God’s Spirit, how to really pray, and I was yearning for God to move and work in my life and in the lives of those around me. My times with the Lord were rich and encouraging and I really couldn’t get enough of God’s Word. And, in fact, I feel like I really did see the Lord move in very specific and identifiable ways all around me, and it was beautiful and encouraging and faith affirming.

I don’t feel those things as strongly right now. That doesn’t change a thing about God, His Spirit, or His Word. It certainly doesn’t mean that God has stopped working in those around me or in me, and that those things are any less beautiful or true. It does mean that I move. I change. I’m not consistent. I can so quickly revert to a mode, not even consciously, where I try to live and minister and love out of my own “Leah-ness”- my personality, my knowledge, my love, my sufficiency, my energy. It’s pride, to just call it what it is, and it’s really ugly. I start to think that I was the one making things go well in the first place and so I could probably just keep trying, striving, working. I get excited so I add more to my plate. I over commit, start taking responsibility for other people, putting pressure on myself to see people lives change and to see Kingdom come. I don’t acknowledge it for a while because I have enough in the tank for that while, but then BAM! Burnout.

It’s easy for me to think this is a unique phenomenon to this season or stage of my life…this burnout cycle, exhaustion, longing for more time and energy. After doing some processing with Matt, he helped me to realize that this cycle and these feelings are not unique to ministry in San Francisco or life as a vocational missionary, but in fact are pretty consistent in my personality and in other seasons of my life across the board. Darn. I would have loved to blame it on “urban fatigue” or “culture shock” (don’t get me wrong…it could be minor elements of these things, as well.)

What I’m learning is that…

- I need God to keep doing fresh things in my life. To feel like I’m walking closely with God and growing in Him a month ago is not enough to sustain me today. I need Him today- to do something new and fresh and FOR today in my heart. Daily bread, if you will. Walking in the Spirit. A moment-by-moment dependency that can’t be stretched over a month, but that is truly needed…moment-by-moment.

- My identity is pretty messed up sometimes. This is probably the root of this issue and cycle for me. At my core, I believe that I am most valuable when my schedule is full, I don’t have to say no to anything, I’m working closer to 50 hours a week than 40, I don’t nap, watch T.V. or waste time, and when I can quantify and show you results from my work. This is the world’s “wisdom” and it is living and breathing in me and waging war against the identity that I really believe God would have me take on.  It terrifies me to “lessen my load” or to really rest myself. Despite the fact that my career choice at this point is vocational ministry I often even scoff at the idea that I need to personally be developed, to spend time being poured into by God, and that this will actually make me a better minister of the gospel. The wisdom of God, the cross even, is foolishness to the world.

I write to you from the middle of the exhaustion, burn out, and energy-less-ness and so I actually can’t wrap this post up with a tight and neat solution, lesson learned, or moral of the story. I don’t know if I really have one yet, or if I’ve really been able to diagnose and be honest with the most true and core issues this all points to. I guess I just wanted to share with you (whoever you are…) how I’m feeling, where I’ve been, and what God is doing in my life. He is doing good and necessary things, I believe. He is pointing out deficiencies in my character and my personality. I’m hoping he will make me a more healthy, balanced person, with an identity more firmly rooted in Jesus and not in myself.

A man that I really respect was telling me the other day that his wife (both are also on staff with Campus Crusade), will often say, “I need the ministry.” He explained that what she means by this is that as much as it’s her job to DO the ministry and facilitate the Spirit of God working in other’s lives, she needs the Spirit to minister to her own life more.

I'm not sure if any of this even made sense, but...I certainly need the ministry. 

Back to School.

Group Shot from Winter Conference. We brought 11 students.

Group shot from a Dodgeball tournament we held in December.

Today was our first day back on campus since Christmas! We set up shop in Malcolm X plaza for some tabling goodness to get the word out about City Cru and make connections with new students. It was refreshing and encouraging to see all of our students again. It’s good and important for us to feel like we’re a part of campus life and to get around outside of City Cru to meet new names, faces, and stories.

We handed out free Krispy Kreme doughnuts and coffee, no strings attached. It seems simple, but people get so happy! (I get it though, honestly, is there anything better than free food?) Most people actually ask: ”What’s the catch?” To which we just say, “No catch. Just a doughnut.” Which then leads them to ask, “Who are you? And why are you doing this?” To which we respond, “We are a community of people on campus seeking to follow Jesus in everyday life and to figure out more and more who he is and how that affects the way we live.” From there they either: 1.  Say thanks and go on their way 2. Get uncomfortable 3.  Ask more questions and stay to chat for a while, perhaps even divulging their own spiritual background and journey or 4. (which can include 3) Take one of the free books we offer, and sign up for our email list.

It’s actually quite a privilege to meet such a range of people. Today I got to talk for a bit with a third year girl. She is coming back to Islam after many years of not walking in her faith at all. I got to ask her some questions about her beliefs as well as share some about Jesus, and she said she’d be interested in grabbing lunch next week. I sincerely just want to learn from and listen to this precious girl, and to allow the love and grace and hope of Christ to speak and live through me as I spend time with her. God works miracles through that and opens up great opportunities for conversations about himself. 

There is just something about a college campus that is both exhausting and exhilarating- isn’t that the world of college ministry altogether though? There’s energy and ideas, the sounds of loud music and voices chatting excitedly, people studying, eating, thinking, playing. I really love working on a college campus.

One of our student’s moms was actually on campus with her today. She thanked me for pouring into her daughter and the other girls, and told me how she is praying for me, the girls I meet with, and City Cru by name. I feel like it’s rare to be thanked by someone’s parent in this profession, but it was truly encouraging and a great reminder right at the start of the semester that God graciously uses his people and that this work is important. My heart feels both full and broken for this beautiful city and the beautiful people in it.

I am hopeful and eager for the things God will do this semester. I know already that He has been working in our student’s lives over the break. There is an air of change, excitement, commitment, purpose, and expectancy among our team and I think the students, as well. We made about 15 different connections today with sororities and fraternities on campus about the Orphan Scholarship Fund project we have going on. We have many students who are taking leadership and desiring to get involved in new and deeper ways. We have a growing sense of community, a new list of names to connect with even after just one of four days tabling this week, and a realization from our staff team that God’s power and wisdom are what draw people to himself and that we are to just be available. We are kicking things off tonight with a prayer and worship night and by seeking God as a community for what he might do this semester.

Please pray for a mighty outpouring of God’s grace and peace and love and power over these next few months at SFSU. And that he might even use just an ordinary group of college students to send three orphans to college and bring justice and compassion to this beautifully broken city. We have so much coming up and I’m feeling very excited.

Freedom Summit, Child Voice, and a Soul Awakening

Matt and I get the really exciting and sobering opportunity and responsibility of attending this conference this weekend:  http://freedom-summit.org/2011/


Freedom Summit 2011 Promo from Freedom-Summit on Vimeo.


We are covering for our directors who, sadly, weren't able to make it back up to the Bay Area in time. They have had the privilege of working with and getting to know the people of Child Voice International. So Matt and I will be representing Child Voice. We hope to learn from many attendees and organizations that have given themselves to this issue, as well as to digest more information on what we can actually do about it. We are still learning about Child Voice International and familiarizing ourselves, but here is a video to peak your interest and help you learn as well. 



So I'll look forward to sharing more about the conference. It's things like this that I'm really glad to live in the Bay Area for. If you live in the Bay, too- there might still be time to register for this? (Check out the website I posted.) In closing, I have come to really love this band called Mumford and Sons. Their lyrics are super insightful and beautiful. One of my favorite songs is called "Awake my soul". I'll share a few of the lyrics that have almost become a prayer and leave you with them as a way to pray for me and us and yourselves regarding this issue and the way we spend our days. 


In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker

Toy Story 3 and our Community Problem

We watched Toy Story 3 last night. I recommend most movies that make me cry because I’m a “feeler” and anything that can evoke emotion and get me the kind of outlet and release that a good cry does is worth it in my book. But, I would definitely recommend Toy Story 3 to anyone. It is such a sweet movie.

I liked it so much because, despite it being about toys that are alive (so realism isn’t necessarily it’s highest merit, which is normally something I look for in a movie) it touches on the real pain and challenge of transition, growing up, and growing apart. And at its core is the importance and life-changing-ness of relationships. Andy, the owner of the whole toy gang, is going to college and the toys are heart-broken that they are unwanted and un-played with, and that ultimately they will be left behind. I won’t give you all the details of the movie. But what made me cry was how much these toys loved their owner and loved each other. As Andy pulls away and leaves them for good, he is leaving his childhood and these toys are saying good-bye to someone who has defined them and been their best friend and greatest joy. It’s a hard thing, and yet, it feels right because transition and growing up are normal. The toys move on to a new task and a new owner, and I have no doubt they will be just as loyal to her, and remain loyal to each other. Sniffle, sniffle.

Growing up is really sad in a lot of ways, and I just think that’s all there is to it. It’s hard to know that you can’t go back and that time just keeps moving forward. I honestly can’t imagine being a parent and watching your child grow up and knowing they’ll never return to the baby that once cooed and napped in your arms. Such is life, I know, but I think without the perspective that we really are just sojourning and that life is short and heaven is long, it could really get you down.

I’ll just say that Woody may be one of the most inspiring movie characters, well…ever. He is fiercely loyal, intelligent, brave, heroic, and tenderhearted. He cares more about other people than himself. He has a sense of what is right and leads others with him to actually do it. He is strong and yet caring, and honestly if Woody were real I think he would be a great pastor or best friend. You should really see this movie. The whole community of toys is actually beautiful. They have a singleness of mind and purpose, are really concerned with each other’s best, they support each other in hard things (like when Barbie gets tossed to the curb…poor Barbie), they have fun together, they really know each other and while there are moments of frustration and tension, I really think they’d take a bullet for one another. At the end there is this scene where they think they’re about the die and they look at each other, hold hands, and wait- in it until the end, together.

Here at the end of the semester, I have been having some important conversations with our students and staff team about what the family of God, what Christian community, should look like. I think we’re missing it in a lot of ways. I can find myself getting so frustrated sometimes when I see our students not asking each other questions, not caring to take the time to get to know each other’s stories, not needing each other in the way that I think we were intended to in this crazy, hard, and tempting world. It can drive me crazy, honestly, that they don’t love each other like they should.

 And yet, when I look at my own life, I know I’m part of the problem in my own world. Authentic community is hard because it takes a lot of time and energy, and it takes going to spend time with people when all you’d really like to do is stay home and watch Toy Story 3. It’s hard because I spend all day with myself and I’m well-acquainted with my problems and my own story, and I think it’s worthy of other people’s care and concern, and yet it’s harder to look outside of my own experience. And, it’s scary to let people know you- to really know you- because what if they don’t like you? Or they challenge you to stop doing the things you know you shouldn’t be doing? It’s hard to know how exactly you go about building and sustaining a healthy community of people with so much sin and brokenness in the world, and in this time in history when life is busy and distracted and so very disconnected.  But, I think I need to try harder to figure it out.

Often, I’m great at diagnosing problems, and doing very little to actually change them. But, I think God really cares about this issue. He talks all the time in his Word about how we treat “one another”, and the things that he talks about most are what I think we should pay attention to most. For whatever reason, in his goodness and sovereignty, God has chosen to use us, his people, to be instruments in each other’s lives. We are to show each other his love, grace, goodness, care, provision, forgiveness, gentleness, and to bear witness to the pain and tough things in life, and then appeal to our just and good God together for justice and restoration. We really are his hands and feet and heart and mouth for each other. I read things in the Bible about breaking bread together, striving to maintain unity, providing for any who is in need, praying for each other, encouraging and admonishing one another, looking not to my best interest but to yours. Our staff team watched a Tim Keller sermon on this topic recently and he submits that if we live in healthy community together- 1. We will be changed and healed 2. We will see God, and 3. Others, on the outside will see God. This is something I want to be a part of.

We are in process, I think, and it's definitely not ALL bad. Matt and I have a community group we go to on Wednesday nights with our church and we really like it. In many ways it has the potential to be a great picture of what we’ve been talking about, if we put the time and work in, and take the risk. We’ve also been fortunate enough to have some great friends living in San Francisco and right around the Bay, some even a few doors down, and so I get glimpses of how we might take advantage of that to really start to build something.

Here are some other practical things I think of that might help: Having more meals together, even if they’re not fancy or well thought out or just leftovers; texting, emailing, and calling more often to check in, encourage, and pray for each other; praying about who is in need and what I could do about it; asking good questions, going to coffee/ lunch and allowing the time needed to be able to bear witness to someone else’s life; doing normal stuff together besides coffee and lunch- like grocery shopping, exercising, etc; being committed to group times; being honest about my own sin and weaknesses; serving the city together, and the list could probably go on. Do you have any other thoughts about how we all make this happen? Do you feel like you are experiencing community in the way it's supposed to be experienced?

So that’s my review of Toy Story 3, coupled with a rant on how we need and often fail at doing community well. While the analogy with my toy friends is faulty and breaks down eventually, I think the toys are a great example of a community I’d like to be a part of. And I would personally like to work hard to make my community of people one that others can see Good and can see God in. 

My own thankful list.

I’m a day late I know, but Happy Thanksgiving to all! We spent our Thanksgiving 2010 at the St. Pierre’s, with the Pedretti side of the family. We began our day with the 2^nd annual St. Pierre 10k Turkey Trot, which I have come to firmly believe is the best way to start Thanksgiving because then the first 600 calories are free! We made shirts this year, even though we had only three participants again. We’re hoping for growth in future years.

I love reading people’s thankful lists. And while I agree that it may seem a bit cliché to do a thankful list like everyone else, (and mine is especially bad because it’s the day AFTER the day to be thankful), I’m going to do it because I think it’s really cool to be able to share with people and give credit to the Lord for all the things He is doing. I love the example that the psalmists give us of thanksgiving, gratitude, and joy that is found in who God is and the wondrous things He has done.

“Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving…” Psalm 95:1-2

My far from comprehensive “thankful list” of 2010:

I’m thankful for the Body of Christ. This struck me the other day. We moved to San Francisco which SHOULD feel very lonely, scary, and unknown. However, I see God’s purposes in plan in uniting his people to create a family. We have found that we are never alone. We love our new church and we belong there because we are seeking to know Christ more with everyone else there. We are new to our community group, and yet we belong there because our desire is to grow in our love for God and each other. We have been traveling a bit lately. And yet, no matter where we are, we are at home in the Body of Christ. We can attend a service at CPC in Merced and feel known and like we belong, we can share a meal with people we see only a handful of times each year and be encouraged and built up because we have Christ in common. I’m really thankful for that in a time of transition.

I’m thankful for a husband who loves God more than me, but loves me more and better because of that. He is also really funny, sweet, passionate, and kind. He’s my best friend. He always says he’s sorry, and also forgives me when I say I’m sorry. I think that’s a great quality. It’s been a really fun year and a half, and I’m thankful God gave me Matt to sojourn with. Ah, sojourning together.

I’m thankful for sisters. I hate that I don’t get to see them nearly enough. It’s weird how as you grow up, you all kind of start your own lives with differing professions, get married, have kids, move to different places, and so on. I am so thankful though to have these two people who know where I came from, share all kinds of memories of home videos made, vacations undertaken, Christmas mornings, bunk beds shared, and everything else that takes place from age 0-18, when previously mentioned lives begin forming. Though, we don’t see each other nearly enough, I feel very thankful that God gave me two sisters.

...For Parents. Both Matt and I feel incredibly grateful for our parents. They’re both the kinds of people that will do anything for you. Yes, you. But especially, us. Never for a day of my life have I had to doubt my parents love for me or doubt the fact that their highest priority was my well-being (and my sisters, and now Simon and their son-in-law). They’re both the kind of people that always pick up the tab, never mind us bringing all our laundry to their homes, will drive three hours just to see us for a day, slave over elaborate meals to celebrate the fact that their families are together. Since my parents raised me and made me, I have a special sense of gratitude for their life-long care, provision, and love- and for the fun they’ve added to my life. I feel lucky to have really fun parents who love to have a good time, maybe even more than I do. My parents are some of the most generous, welcoming, sincere, fun people I know. And to add to that, I got to marry into a family where I’ve never had to doubt if they love me either. I don’t say that because I think I’M great, but because I’ve been lucky enough to have in-laws that show they love me by their actions, words, conversation, and support of Matt and I. They are more like friends than “in-laws” (which sounds way more formal and detached than I feel towards them), and I marvel at how already I feel that I can be completely myself around them because they allow me to and they are unconditionally loving…I feel sorry for them as this sometimes includes spontaneous fits of dancing, laughter, loudness, chasing their son, asking lots of questions, and being a little too talkative for my own good. They are sincere, loving, thoughtful, fun, generous, intentional people. I’m so thankful for the parents God has given us. We’ll never say “thank you” enough to them.

...A body that works. I'm thankful that, at least for this season of life, I'm healthy and my body works in pretty much all the ways that it should. It may not always be this way, but I'm thankful for it now. 

...Older women to learn from. Lord knows I need this, as frequently or infrequently as I get to be around them. I think specifically of Allison Priola, Tammy Arlen, Christine Kernaghan, Rachel Medefind, and my mothers and sisters. 

...San Francisco. I’m thankful God called us here. It’s been hard at moments, but overall we just feel thankful to be where we’re supposed to be. It’s a beautiful, fun, diverse, and tiring city, and we get to call it home for this season.

...Friends in the Bay Area. Living in San Francisco is easier because we have such great friends and family in the Bay Area. Many of our best friends from college have since made the move up to the Bay, and it makes my life so much easier to have people only a drive-across-the bridge away. These people know me and still love me, and it is incredibly comforting to know that a coffee date to pour out my cuts is in reach. I haven’t lived this close to my parents in 5 years, as well, and it’s really nice to be able to see them so much more.

...Friends who pursue me even though they don’t live in the Bay Area. AND, for those who aren’t a drive-over-the-bridge away, I feel so thankful for people who are a phone call or email away. I’m amazed at the caliber of people God has put in my life, and how he has knit my heart closely to many dear friends along the way. I’m thankful for those who still want to be my friend even though we don’t live in the same town or go to school together anymore. Seriously, I just feel thankful to have friends. They make life better.

...SLO.  This place shaped us and sent us. We love getting to go back for a visit. It’s really special, and we’re thankful we had the opportunity to live there.

...Our home. We feel very blessed by the delightful “flat” we get to rent in SF. It allows us to give people a place to stay and return the favor so many have done for us. After long days and weeks, it’s a sanctuary and the perfect place to rest. We have so many beautiful places within walking/running (takes a little more motivation…) distance. I love that we have a park across the street so we can make the most of sunny San Francisco days, even if we only see the sun for an hour or two.

...Students at SF State. I’m so thankful for the students we’ve met at SF State even in our first three months in SF. We love them. We are learning so much from them. And they make my days fun, and full, and meaningful. The girls I get to spend time with either over coffee or lunch, just sitting around on campus, in a dorm room or study lounge, are making my job and this season of my life full of purpose, joy, and fun.

...Our Ministry Partners. We have a team of people who pray for us, sacrifice on behalf of what God has put in front of us as ministry, write us sweet emails, postcards, and notes, and we feel genuinely are invested in our day to day lives. We are amazed and so thankful at how God, again, uses his people to supply each other’s needs, to advance his kingdom, to encourage each other, and to not “grow weary in doing good”. We feel God’s provision and care in our lives through our ministry partners.

...Life-giving things: like cooking and baking (and taking a long time to do it), reading, having coffee with a friends, going for a walk or a run, being in SLO, being around my sweet nephew, date nights with Matt, exploring San Francisco, creativity, giving and receiving gifts, being outside, being on vacation, hearing people talk who are really living out their faith and walking with Jesus, getting together with people we haven’t seen for awhile, and so on.

...Taken fore granted things. The fact that we ate more food yesterday then most people will see in a lifetime…(I don’t know if I’m thankful for this or more saddened and a little embarrassed).  Hot showers, clean sheets, cable, wireless internet, cell phones, a bank account and savings, a car, a job, the ability to have a full refrigerator if we want one, to stop at Starbucks if we want one, and to eat out if the opportunity presents itself. (I have mixed feelings about all of these things- I’m so so thankful for the privilege we live in. I’m also wondering how much all of the aforementioned things keep me from needing God?)

I’m thankful that “…while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly…God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

So, Happy belated THANKSgiving, to all! If you’re reading this, you probably fall into one of the categories I just named, and even if not, I’m probably pretty thankful for you, too. 

The City.

On Friday mornings our team meets for breakfast. Our staff meetings are on Monday mornings, and we work through the details, planning, and strategy of the ministry. But Fridays are a time to eat a meal together, catch up on the week, pray, and to grow as a team.

This past week we started going through a DVD series from Tim Keller called, “The Gospel in Life”. I love so much of what Tim Keller has to say about, what I guess might be called, “city theology”.

The first segment is called, “The City”, and well, it’s about the City. It’s funny that this could be a topic for a series called the Gospel in Life, but I think it’s so relevant. It feels especially relevant where we find ourselves, and our perspective and view of this new place we call home.

In the segment, Keller draws comparisons between modern day Christians living in cities and the Israelite’s experience as they were in exile in Babylon- a city of pagan idolatry and foreign practices. The Babylonians, the pagans, were inviting and urging the Israelites to come into the city and give up their spiritual identity and belief system- to become like the city.  The false prophets of the time were encouraging the Israelites to stay out of the city, isolate themselves, build their own community and stay there, and to, in effect, protect their spiritual identify and beliefs. But God, through Jeremiah, tells the Israelites to enter the city, live there, settle there AND also to keep their spiritual identity and beliefs.

“Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease.” Jeremiah 29:4-6

He goes further to say,

“…seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” Jeremiah 29:7

God is concerned with cities. He was then, and He is now.  And shockingly, not just the neat, sweet, perfect little cities that we could somehow call more “Christian”. He cares for the Babylons of the Bible, and of today. He cares for San Francisco.

On our newsletter we have a verse that says, “Should I not be concerned with that great city?” This verse comes from Jonah. In the book of Jonah, God has asked Jonah to go to Ninevah, Jonah is angry and doesn’t want to because Ninevah is full of people who don’t love or serve God. However, God explains that He created this city and the 120,000 people who live there, and that He is concerned with Ninevah. It is a "great" city in that it's big, but also God sees it as important. Ninevah is a big, ungodly, pagan city, and yet, God is concerned.

Keller goes on to outline the purpose and importance of cities throughout time as places of cultural creation and dissemination, law and justice, refuge for the poor and for minorities, and places of spiritual seeking and finding. Sounds pretty good to me. The bad news is that because of SIN and the fact that creation is fallen and groaning for restoration, cities are instead often places of injustice and lawlessness, racism and classism, and materialism and idolatry. Something is off and we all know it. Cities can be hard and confusing places, and somehow being in the city, we can feel a little more keenly that everything isn't as it's supposed to be. Brokenness is the word that comes to mind. 

So, as Jesus himself prayed that the Kingdom would come on earth as it is in Heaven, we pray that, too. And we labor for it. God invites us, the Church, into his plan to bring the Kingdom of God to earth,  and also to seek the welfare of the city.

Cities really can feel confusing and overwhelming. San Francisco can feel that way to me. So many people, ideas, differences…and, so much traffic. But this is not a bad place, and God for whatever reason identifies with the city. (Read Revelation 21 if you get a chance, too.)

I do realize that this skims the surface of some huge ideas, and also that I have much to learn...about a lot of things. However, I wanted to share that I’m glad to be here because cities are important, we have been called, and because God is here. I’m so encouraged by God’s heart for cities, and for San Francisco. God is here and He loves this city and the 700,000 people who live here, as close to Babylon as it might feel sometimes. Our job is to seek the welfare of the city, while loving God and clinging to our God-given identity, mission, and purpose.

(This is actually a post from St. Pierre's in the City blog.)

We're Here and God is Good.

               

We moved to San Francisco one week ago today! 

It is an absolute miracle that we are here…and we have truly been thanking our all-sufficient, abundantly providing, always Good, God. Don't get me wrong, God would be Good even if we weren’t living in San Francisco right now, or if we never made it. But, for whatever reason He chose to be good to us in this season of our lives through the incredible outpouring of love, encouragement, and resources of His people- many of you who are hopefully reading this. We feel overwhelmed. Life has been a bit of a whirlwind, but God has been so kind and gentle and good to us. 

The deal was that before we could move to SF we had to have all of our financial support fully raised. Ask anyone who has ever raised financial support- you have your days when you wonder if you’ll ever get there. You have lots of those kinds of days. You wonder how a large sum of money will come together in a matter of a few months…and in the meantime how you will find a place to live, then actually do the move, and all the while prepare your heart and mind to do the job you’ve been telling everyone your going to do, which is why your actually raising the large sum of money in the first place! But then, God just does it. He is socreative and bountiful when He does, and it's so fun to watch. Matt and I felt just absolutely overwhelmed in the past two weeks as the last of our support poured in, about 20%, over the course of 2 or 3 days. 

Support-raising is such a balance of diligence and hard work, and trusting God. And knowing that ultimately it really isn’t about your diligence or hard work. Confusing, right? I need to tell you, though, that I see so much value in this process. We learned so much in those three months. I assure you that no one tells us we have to say that, and we're not trained on how to write something like this. And I know the phrase “hard, but good” is used probably all too widely in Christian circles- but the process is so “hard, but good” (and hey, maybe it isn’t used too much, maybe that’s just how God works). We learned a lot about how to trust God. Again, which sounds cliche. But, God says lots of things in His Word, that don't mean much unless we take the step to actually trust those things, and apply them to our lives. In May, I found myself often fretting and worrying, Martha-ing, if you will . At the end of the summer, I didn’t find myself doing that as much. God did a workto show us His character in a real way in our lives…He showed us that He is faithful, that His first concern is always our hearts and whether or not we love Him most. He showed us that all money belongs to Him and that He uses His people, His Church, to provide for the needs and ministries of other saints. He humbled us by showing us that we couldn’t work hard enough to bring our goal to completion, but that He would bring it to completion when it glorified Him most. He taught Matt and I how to work together, trust each other, and how to be far less controlling (okay, maybe that was more me). He made us so thankful…and reminded us that it is not only in seasons of abundance and blessing that we are to be thankful, but in all circumstances.

We had the absolute privilege of meeting and talking with some of the most phenomenal human beings we have ever met this summer. Generous, sacrifical, faithful, obedient, radical, encouraging, and God-loving, people-loving people. We are so thankful to be part of THE CHURCH. We have been challenged to always be those kinds of people for others…that we are “blessed, to be a blessing”. We feel so thankful to have a team of people...so many of the BEST.

And now, here we find ourselves in San Francisco. Tomorrow, we officially start the work that we told you all this summer that we would be doing. We covet your prayers tomorrow, and every day until the next time we meet or speak and we can remind you again. This is a city in need of Jesus, and in need of Love. But, this is also a BEAUTIFUL city. A city full of God’s creation, and of people who were made in His image to glorify and magnify Him. There are growing and thriving churches here, the Spirit of God is moving, and there are lost and broken people here. All right alongside each other. We covet your prayers to love and serve this city in a way that honors the God who brought us here.

In the past week, we have been unpacking and organzing,exploring our neighborhood and the city a bit to settle in and feel a little more comfortable with our new home. We love our neighborhood and our home, a "flat" to be precise, and are so excited to share it with hopefully many of you. We were able to go on campus for a prayer gathering, where we met two female students, who were absolutely wonderful. We visited a great church and were able to connect with the Lord there and even recognized a few faces. We had our first team breakfast with five out of eight of our team members, where we connected as a team and prayed on the rooftop over the city and students. Maybe we are in a honeymoon phase of sorts, but we love this city. (And it could help that the weather has been perfect.)

And lastly, to all of you who are a part of all of this, thank you. Thank you so much for letting God use you to bring us here. You are a blessing, an answer to prayer, and truly partners and co-laborers in the gospel for the sake of this city.

(On a hike...literally a five minute walk from our house. We feel so blessed.)

I'm so glad I cried.

The tears have begun to flow.

Our final night at youth group was last night, and I cried, which is no big surprise, if you know me well. But I’m really glad I cried. Let me explain.

We got into the whole youth group thing this year because we felt God calling us to a new ministry here in San Luis Obispo, and we saw a need in the youth group. We love our church here and we wanted to serve it and it’s kids.

It was a journey. The first night we started there were no girls, we met in a big ware-housey kind of room with maybe 5 freshman boys and pretty much sat in a circle sharing broken bone and scar stories. It was the youth pastor and his then girlfriend, and one other friend, and us leading the group. We were all pretty new- to the group, to each other, and to the kids.

I think there were many times throughout the year that Matt and I questioned if it even mattered that we were there. It was easy to feel unimportant, a little lost, and confused as to how to actually reach these kids and impact them with Christ’s love. If I’m honest, too, there were weeks it was hard to want to go spend three hours with high school kids. There were many moments of frustration as we reminded students over and over to stop talking, put away their phones, stop playing footsey, chatting, and distracting each other (I apologize to every teacher, coach, and youth leader I ever had in high school). Ours maybe isn’t the “cool” youth group in town. We don’t have many kids, until recently we had no music, we had no organized games for most of the year, we don’t use powerpoints or projectors, we don’t have tons of equipment, and haven’t been known for the most awesome events. But we had a youth group, nonetheless, and kids come, and throughout the year more and more kids came. And I think in spite of our relative lack of coolness, it’s because the gospel was preached and they could be themselves.

Week in and week out, we all showed up. Showing up is important. We don’t really know what God will do when we show up, but if we are faithful to do just that much, God will do something, because He’s God and all we really have the power to do anyway is show up. There were good nights and bad nights. Organized and disorganized, both frustrating and fun.

 When we left last night- we left a group of about 20 students, 6 leaders, plus our youth pastor and that same girlfriend that is now his wife. We came to love those people and to love serving our high school students with them. It was organized. We played a game together, like we do every week now. The students were listening (this could have been because us leaders did a skit in the beginning of the night mocking and impersonating them by whispering to each other, having headphones in, and being on our cell phones…you see what we’re up against each week). Matt gave the message and it was rich and full with the gospel. We broke into groups after and we had students sharing and opening up about what God is requiring of them to walk more closely with Himself. We had worship music, and the kids were singing and worshipping. And so I started crying.

That’s just what I do when it comes to leaving, and changing, and transitioning. I cry. And it’s not pretty. Because I’m going to miss these people and miss what we have become used to. But also, and probably more importantly, I cried because we have seen God work in a mighty way in our youth group this year. And when by His grace we get to be a part of Him moving and working, it’s amazing, and humbling, and sobering.

Here are just a few things that we got to be a part of and that I can testify to the fact that God is alive and well here in San Luis Obispo, in that little room on South Higuera with about twenty high school kids:

+ ‘D’ (don’t want to use their actual names…) came to our second youth group of the year, a bonfire at Avila Beach. We hit it off instantly. She is somewhat of an orphan. Her mother passed away two and half years ago, dad is uninvolved. D is just in a rough place in life, facing the facts that she never thought it would be this way, but this is the way it is. I got the privilege of sharing a few meals and cups of coffee, some Sunday mornings, and every Wednesday night with this sweet junior girl. We got to pray together, encourage one another, and I got to support this young lady as she walked through some things that are harder than anything I’ve had to experience yet. I watched her grow in her walk with God and become involved in a body of believers. D isn’t a crier. But we cried together last night, and sat quietly together- I think probably thinking over our year together, both equally thankful for what God taught us through the other.

+ ‘D’ invited ‘M’ partway through the year. M wasn’t too familiar with the whole church thing and was just checking out what she thought about God. I came to love and enjoy these girls so much. Two weeks ago at youth group, M became a Christian. Praise the Lord. I feel so thankful to have been able to become friends with these two girls, preach the gospel to them each week, answer questions with whatever limited answers I have, and just try to love them.

+ During one youth group a few months ago, I got to spend the first hour in a room with one of our students ‘C’, skipping the game and fun time in the beginning. C was having a hard night. We walked through many of her questions that night together- What do I do, because I’m so angry with my family? What is sin? What does it mean to be a Christian? What if I don’t feel like I can do it? C is a very sweet girl and I pray the Lord continues to use our conversation that night and time together the rest of the year to draw her to Himself.

+ Next weekend, one of the newer students in our group, a male ‘C’ is getting baptized. He is a leader and has brought a vulnerability, honesty, and openness to the young guys of our group that we have needed and prayed for all year. He expressed: “I love God. I’m so thankful I found a place I can be myself.”

+ Matt was able to teach the Bible several times on both Sundays and Wednesday this year. I saw God grow him in this skill and gifting, and God used him to communicate God’s heart to these students. Last night, I can’t tell you how many girls in my group started sharing by saying, “I was thinking about what Matt said about…” God used him to convict and challenge these kids.

+ Matt was also able to spend time and meet with one of the newer students to our group who had moved from South Carolina and help him get adjusted to the completely different culture of the Central Coast. I believe this student felt loved and welcomed by Matt’s pursuit of him.

I’m so glad that I could think of many other things to share with you. I won’t. But I wish you could stop in sometime to that little room on South Higuera and meet some of our students. They may not seem like much at first, but God showed us that He loves them and doesn’t “despise their youth…but [desires] that [they] set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12). It's not nearly perfect, and it will probably stay frustrating at moments, but because it's just a bunch of people, it's a process. 

 We are leaving the group in an exciting time- when we see God doing new things, bringing new people, and changing new lives, truly, every time we get together. There is a sadness and a mourning to leaving, but we’re rejoicing that because it’s not about us, and God has brought faithful laborers to that group, He will keep working and we will hear stories of the great men and women he raises up out of what started in a warehouse telling stories about broken bones.

Our fellow leader and dear friend buddy, shamelessly entertaining the kids with a mullet.

 Chubby Bunny. Classic.

Ok, so what? We taped a kid to a chair. He asked for it :)

Sweet D and M.