We watched Toy Story 3 last night. I recommend most movies that make me cry because I’m a “feeler” and anything that can evoke emotion and get me the kind of outlet and release that a good cry does is worth it in my book. But, I would definitely recommend Toy Story 3 to anyone. It is such a sweet movie.
I liked it so much because, despite it being about toys that are alive (so realism isn’t necessarily it’s highest merit, which is normally something I look for in a movie) it touches on the real pain and challenge of transition, growing up, and growing apart. And at its core is the importance and life-changing-ness of relationships. Andy, the owner of the whole toy gang, is going to college and the toys are heart-broken that they are unwanted and un-played with, and that ultimately they will be left behind. I won’t give you all the details of the movie. But what made me cry was how much these toys loved their owner and loved each other. As Andy pulls away and leaves them for good, he is leaving his childhood and these toys are saying good-bye to someone who has defined them and been their best friend and greatest joy. It’s a hard thing, and yet, it feels right because transition and growing up are normal. The toys move on to a new task and a new owner, and I have no doubt they will be just as loyal to her, and remain loyal to each other. Sniffle, sniffle.
Growing up is really sad in a lot of ways, and I just think that’s all there is to it. It’s hard to know that you can’t go back and that time just keeps moving forward. I honestly can’t imagine being a parent and watching your child grow up and knowing they’ll never return to the baby that once cooed and napped in your arms. Such is life, I know, but I think without the perspective that we really are just sojourning and that life is short and heaven is long, it could really get you down.
I’ll just say that Woody may be one of the most inspiring movie characters, well…ever. He is fiercely loyal, intelligent, brave, heroic, and tenderhearted. He cares more about other people than himself. He has a sense of what is right and leads others with him to actually do it. He is strong and yet caring, and honestly if Woody were real I think he would be a great pastor or best friend. You should really see this movie. The whole community of toys is actually beautiful. They have a singleness of mind and purpose, are really concerned with each other’s best, they support each other in hard things (like when Barbie gets tossed to the curb…poor Barbie), they have fun together, they really know each other and while there are moments of frustration and tension, I really think they’d take a bullet for one another. At the end there is this scene where they think they’re about the die and they look at each other, hold hands, and wait- in it until the end, together.
Here at the end of the semester, I have been having some important conversations with our students and staff team about what the family of God, what Christian community, should look like. I think we’re missing it in a lot of ways. I can find myself getting so frustrated sometimes when I see our students not asking each other questions, not caring to take the time to get to know each other’s stories, not needing each other in the way that I think we were intended to in this crazy, hard, and tempting world. It can drive me crazy, honestly, that they don’t love each other like they should.
And yet, when I look at my own life, I know I’m part of the problem in my own world. Authentic community is hard because it takes a lot of time and energy, and it takes going to spend time with people when all you’d really like to do is stay home and watch Toy Story 3. It’s hard because I spend all day with myself and I’m well-acquainted with my problems and my own story, and I think it’s worthy of other people’s care and concern, and yet it’s harder to look outside of my own experience. And, it’s scary to let people know you- to really know you- because what if they don’t like you? Or they challenge you to stop doing the things you know you shouldn’t be doing? It’s hard to know how exactly you go about building and sustaining a healthy community of people with so much sin and brokenness in the world, and in this time in history when life is busy and distracted and so very disconnected. But, I think I need to try harder to figure it out.
Often, I’m great at diagnosing problems, and doing very little to actually change them. But, I think God really cares about this issue. He talks all the time in his Word about how we treat “one another”, and the things that he talks about most are what I think we should pay attention to most. For whatever reason, in his goodness and sovereignty, God has chosen to use us, his people, to be instruments in each other’s lives. We are to show each other his love, grace, goodness, care, provision, forgiveness, gentleness, and to bear witness to the pain and tough things in life, and then appeal to our just and good God together for justice and restoration. We really are his hands and feet and heart and mouth for each other. I read things in the Bible about breaking bread together, striving to maintain unity, providing for any who is in need, praying for each other, encouraging and admonishing one another, looking not to my best interest but to yours. Our staff team watched a Tim Keller sermon on this topic recently and he submits that if we live in healthy community together- 1. We will be changed and healed 2. We will see God, and 3. Others, on the outside will see God. This is something I want to be a part of.
We are in process, I think, and it's definitely not ALL bad. Matt and I have a community group we go to on Wednesday nights with our church and we really like it. In many ways it has the potential to be a great picture of what we’ve been talking about, if we put the time and work in, and take the risk. We’ve also been fortunate enough to have some great friends living in San Francisco and right around the Bay, some even a few doors down, and so I get glimpses of how we might take advantage of that to really start to build something.
Here are some other practical things I think of that might help: Having more meals together, even if they’re not fancy or well thought out or just leftovers; texting, emailing, and calling more often to check in, encourage, and pray for each other; praying about who is in need and what I could do about it; asking good questions, going to coffee/ lunch and allowing the time needed to be able to bear witness to someone else’s life; doing normal stuff together besides coffee and lunch- like grocery shopping, exercising, etc; being committed to group times; being honest about my own sin and weaknesses; serving the city together, and the list could probably go on. Do you have any other thoughts about how we all make this happen? Do you feel like you are experiencing community in the way it's supposed to be experienced?
So that’s my review of Toy Story 3, coupled with a rant on how we need and often fail at doing community well. While the analogy with my toy friends is faulty and breaks down eventually, I think the toys are a great example of a community I’d like to be a part of. And I would personally like to work hard to make my community of people one that others can see Good and can see God in.
